And Then I Stepped in Gum . . .

Not That There's Anything Wrong with That, Of Course...

[A Dave-style post]

All I'm sayin' is that if you're a guy and you go to a wedding with a longtime male friend and meet people for the first time, and your primary topics of conversation are

1. Musicals -- Avenue Q, Phantom of the Opera, Sondheim, Chess, and (and this really clinches it) The Scarlet Pimpernel

2. Interior decorating -- "What I would have done with this ceiling is..."

3. Fancy drinks -- How rum punch would have been a great drink to have at the reception, but all they have is hard liquor

4. Footwear -- How you've looked for fancy dress sandals for all the weddings you've had to go to this summer, but couldn't find any men's sandals ("If the women get to go open-toe, I think I should be allowed to go open toe.")

5. Cooking -- The gourmet meal that you prepare at Thanksgiving for all your friends, and how you use candlelight to disguise the tacky turkey-shaped platters that were all you could find because you shopped too late

-- don't be surprised if people ask if you're gay. I'm not saying that you necessarily are gay, just that I'm stupefied that the above-described person wouldn't realize that the image he projects is not exactly Sylvester Stallone macho.

That's all I'm sayin'.

(Except that I feel compelled to add that I did enjoy this person's company, but I have to admit that I have a long-established history of being gay-friendly (and sometimes too gay-friendly ).)

posted by Jennifer Morgan, at 2:04 PM