And Then I Stepped in Gum . . .

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Live, from the Morgan Household

Actual dinnertime conversation at our house:

Ian, pretending to be Darth Vader, is wandering around the kitchen (this -- both the pretending and the wandering -- is typical). He "slips," and falls down on the ground.

Ian: Darth Vader fell down on the Dark Path!

Katie: There's no Dark Path. What are you talking about?

Ian: Yes dere is. Yoda says dere's a Dark Path.

Katie: Mommy, is there a Dark Path?

Me: Well, yes, there is, but it's metaphorical.

Katie: What is meta-...meta-?

Me: [Offers some kind of random explanation of a metaphor involving getting on my nerves -- subtlety is not my strong suit.]

Katie: Whatever. I can't understand what Yoda says in that movie [Return of the Jedi] anyway.

Me: Why, because he's 900 years old?

Katie: He's not that old in real life!

Me: What?

Katie: You know, in real life, he's not that old.

Me: Katie, he's a puppet. Yoda is a puppet. You know that, right?

Katie: Really?

Ian: I always fought he was a person in a costume.

And we just saw the Muppet displays at the Smithsonian, too!!

[Approximately 24 hours before my status as temporary single parent is relieved. Thank God.]

Monday, June 12, 2006

My Free Spirit -- NOT!

We just returned from a family in wedding in Baltimore that necessitated taking Katie out of school for two days. We asked her teacher to provide her with classwork to do while we were traveling. She sent home her journal, and told Katie to write each day about whatever she wanted. Apparently, they write in their journal each day in response to specific prompts.

The freedom of expression was just too much for Katie to take -- she was paralyzed, and couldn't write just about her day or the things she did. Instead, she felt she had to make up her own prompts, including this one: "On your trip, you crossed over many bridges. What bridges did you see?" (One of the bridges we crossed multiple times was the Francis Scott Key Memorial Bridge, and we instituted a new family tradition of singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" whenever we drove over it. That's one of the things she wrote about.)

This need to adhere to externally imposed structure is a little worrisome. It's all I need to worry about her having OCD tendencies similar to mine -- and don't even get me started on the new game of walking only on certain color tiles in the mall and how it messes with my own head!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

"Fill in alarmist and armageddonist factoid here"

The above, which was mistakenly published in a Greenpeace press release, is exactly why editors and proofreaders are necessary in this world! Thanks to Peter Sagal and the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me crew for the fun new slogan.